Isa, dalawa, o kahit 'sangdosena pa ....

Libro? Hindi biro. Lahat ng kailangan mong malaman, lahat ng alaalala na ayaw mong makalimutan, dyan ang talaan. Eh pano nga ba gumawa ng isang magandang libro? Pano mo gagawing sobrang ganda ang obra mo para matandaan hindi lang ng iilang tao kundi pati buong mundo?
Ako? Hindi ako magaling sumulat o mahilig mag basa ng aklat, minsan lang, kapag nakita kong maganda naman at alam kong meron akong matututunan.
Pero kung gugustuhin kong gumawa ng sarili kong libro, at kung mabibigyan ako ng pagkakataong mailathalat ito,  aba, opportunity knocks only once, kahit hindi naman ako magaling, hindi naman siguro masama kung aking susubukin :)
Horror? takot ako pero malakas ang loob ko. Lalo na pag marami akong kasamang titili hanggang dulo. Bakit tayo natatakot sa dilim? Ano ba talaga ang nakakatakot? Yung dilim o yung mga bagay na hindi mo alam kasi hindi mo naman nakikita.
Love story? Lahat ba ng nasusulat sa libro tungkol sa pag-ibig ay totoo?
Tragic? Drama? Minsan hindi rin naman masamang isulat mo nalang lahat ng sakit na nararamdaman mo, malay mo naman umikot ang mundo, sa isang tuldok ng panulat mo, matatapos na lahat ng sakit sa puso mo at mailipat sa lathala mo. Naka-inspire ka pa ng ibang tao.

Eh ano nga ba? Ano bang magandang topic? Ang dami pa, apat lang 'yang nabanggit ko, hindi naman kasi talaga biro ang gumawa ng isang libro.
Siguro, tulad ng isang pag yabong ng magandang bulaklak, hindi mapipilit ang isang tao na mag-sulat, kusa itong lalabas, kusa itong mamumunga, kusa itong lalago.
Kaya habang pangarap pa lang sakin ang makapag sulat ng sarili kong libro, nanamnamin ko muna ang bawat araw ng punong -puno ng mga inspirasyon, ideya, impormasyon dito sa mundo.
Hindi mahalaga kung isa, dalawa, o 'sandosenang libro ang magawa ko, basta mapangiti ko lang ang bawat makakabasa nito, daig ko pa si Shakespeare, dakilang manunulat sa buong mundo.

IDEYA LUMABAS KA!

Everybody wants to have great ideas, but have you ever wondered what an idea is? It is a thought or suggestion as to a possible course of action, a concept or mental impression. Yes, we all know what an idea is but the question is how do we make ideas? Honestly, hindi ko alam, wala akong idea kung paano gumawa ng idea haha..

Ako kasi kapag kailangan ng idea na pang matinuan talagang pinag iisipan ko pero kapag kalokohan wala ng isip isip kusa na lang lumalabas haha chos. Kung minsan naman ay nakakakuha ako ng mga ideya galing sa ibang tao, yung tipong kapag may narinig kang isang bagay may maiisip ka nalang bigla na kung ano man.

The best way to have a good idea is to have lots of ideas. Ang idea hindi tinatago yan, kung minsan kasi iniisip agad natin na panget kaya hindi natin sinasabi, pero ang kailangan ay ilabas mo ng ilabas kasi yung pinaka magandang idea ay nasa ilalim, kaya kung hindi mo ilalabas yung mga nakaharang never lalabas ang isang bonggang idea.

Minsan dapat kapag nakakaisip tayo ng idea dapat isinusulat, madalas kasi mangyari sakin na may naiisip akong magandang ideya pero maya maya lang nakalimutan ko na. Huwag din tayo maiinis kung minsan ay todo isip tayo ng idea ngunit walang lumalabas, yung ibang idea kasi nang gugulat yan bigla bigla na lang lumalabas out of nowhere.

SEE YOU SOON!

Naniniwala ako na wala namang tao ang ipinanganak na walang hiya, yun nga lang may mga tao na sadyang may taglay na kakapalan lang ng mukha.

Bakit ko to nasabi? Kasi there were times na I wish makapal na lang ang mukha ko. There were times that I wished I wasn’t like this. There were times I wished I am someone else. Take note ang TIMES,  meaning maraming beses. Sa sobrang dami di ko na mabilang. Before , everytime I wake up I wish something different will happen. Something na hindi ko na hihilingin pa na maging ibang tao. But everyday was a disappointment, I end up wishing I was in a different place and an entirely different person, just before I go to sleep. Wala kasi akong tiwala sa sarili ko. Feeling ko kulang pa ko, sa sobrang kulang ko, pakiramdam ko kahit anong gawin ko I will never be enough, I will not be the best. Kaya din nung nagsawa na ko I just chose to stay at the corner and maybe I thought stay there unnoticed till the end of my school days.

Before ko maramdaman yung feeling na yun, I was contented. I feel like I can do everything. I tried everything. I joined math contests, sumali ako sa buwan ng wika, I even joined choir in our church before, kasi nga akala ko maganda boses ko e haha.  I never doubted myself, kasi everyone believed in me, everyone supported me. Pero nung lumipat na kami ng place, everything started to change. That little girl, na puno ng tiwala sa sarili unti unting nawala. Maybe one of the reason she left ay dahil nabawasan yung support group nya, nawala sya sa comfort zone nya. Everything changed. Actually, before sinisisi ko ang elementary days that I have spend here. Kasi I wasn’t like this before we moved here. My elementary days were nightmare.

When I entered high school bago na si ako. Lahat na lang feeling ko di ko kaya. Lahat na lang, even writing on the board ayaw ko. Baka kasi maasar ako, yung mga ganong feeling. I thought that the people that surrounded during my high school days are similar to the person I have been with in elem. But I was wrong. They helped me get out of the corner I was hiding. They made me believe that there are things I can do. They trusted me, loved me and supported me. Kaya naman when I entered college, akala ko hindi na ko magi-improve pa, mali na naman ako. Kung nung high school ako natulungan nila ako para magawa ko yung mga bagay na gusto kong gawin kaya lang di ko magawa dahil nahihiya ako. Ang college friends ko? Hindi lang nila ako tinulungan, they forced me to do things. Ewan ko ba, nasobrahan naman sila ng tiwala sakin. Haha. But I am very thankful sa kanila. Without them sobrang mahiyain pa din siguro ako.

Through these experiences and those people, I learned that the best person I can be is just simply being me. Treasure my strengths, accept my weaknesses, and love my imperfections. I know I will always be a shy person, but now believing in myself. So that’s how I went from shy to less shy :)

PS:

Friends, thank you for leading me this far, thank you for helping me remember that little girl I was before. And to you little girl, see you soon :)

Let's Make the Most Out of it....

Let's make the most of of it... Teka, naalala ko pa nong sinabi ko to bago mag-pasukan. "I want to make the most out of it." 4th year na ko e. Last year ko na sa BU. Huling taon ng pag-aaral. yes! PERO HINDI HULING TAON NG KASIYAHAN at KALOKOHAN kasama sila. Teka sinong sila? Sino pa e di yung mga mababait at maloloko kong mga kaklase! :)

Eto na naman ako. nagda-drama. Mag-isa kasi ko sa bahay. yaan niyo na. :)

Wala, naisip ko lang kasi yung sa annual natin. Lufet ng batch natin mga bebs at brads! LAHAT TAYO MAY ILALAGAY SA ILALIM NG PICTURE AT PANGALAN. :")
Isang buong blockna may mga narating at napatunayan sa Baliuag University. Sabi ko dati gusto kong gumawa tayo ng legacy. Eto na yun! :) Ang legasiya ng mga anak nina Nanang Tesa at Nana Ondeng. :))))
Nakakaproud. Nakakaproud. :) Just saying guys! :) Iloveyouall! :)


Pauline Castillo
ABComm
Assistant Secretary, BUTAG (2012-2013)
4th Year Representative, CASSC (2013-2014)

Rachel Elisha Levi Eugenio
ABComm
President, COMARTSOC (2013-2014)
Secretary, CASSC (2013-2014)
Secretary, BUTAG (2012-2013)

Ivory Evangelista
ABComm
President, BUSSC (2013-2014)
Secretary, BUENACTUS (2013-2014)
Vice President, COMARTSOC (2012-2013)
Secretary, CASSC (2012-2013)
Treasurer, BUTAG (2012-2013)

Chinggoy Futol
ABComm
Auditor, COMARTSOC  (2013-2014)
Treasurer, COMARTSOC (2012-2013)
Treasurer,  CASSC (2013-2014)

Shannen Ledesma
ABComm
Business Manager, CASSC (2013-2014)

Ma. Sophia Loterena
ABComm
Secretary, BUSSC  CASSC (2012-2013)
Assistant Treasurer, COMARTSOC (2012-2013)

Shaine Monique Ordonez
ABComm
Vice President,  COMARTSOC (2013-2014)

Wenvy Ann Salcedo
ABComm
4th Year Representative, COMARTSOC (2013-2014)
Sgt. @ Arms, BUTAG (2012-2013)

Gil Salvador
ABComm
Commisioner 1, BU-COMELEC (2013-2014)
Escort, CASSC (2012-2013)
PRO, BUSSC (2011-2012)

April Joy Santos
ABComm
President, BUTAG (2013-2014)
Vice President, BUTAG (2012-2013)

Khing Jerome Santos
Sgt. @ Arms, BUSSC (2013-2014)
4th Year Representative, CASSC (2012-2013)

Aga Fatrick Sta. Ana
ABComm
Vice President, CASSC (2013-2014)
President, BUTAG (2012-2013)

Lady Uni Tomas
ABComm
Treasurer, BUTAG (2013-2014)
Treasurer, CASSC (2013-2014)


Nakakaproud sobra! :) Di bale nang di ako agad nakagraduate. Kung di naman dahil sa paghinto ko, di ko makikilala ang mga tunay kong kaibigan. :))))

Someone has to say it.

August 17, 2013.

     Pauwi ako, nakasakay ako sa jeep. Nothing special, isang ordinaryong araw. Nakakatamad sa school, nakakatamad din sa bahay. As usual, nakapikit ako pag nasa jeep. Ewan ko ba, favorite place kong matulog (bukod sa kama) ang jeep, lalo na paguumaandar.

     Di pa umaalis yung jeep, naghihintay pa ng pasahero... binuksan ko yung bag ko, kinuha ko yung earphones, gusto ko magsoundtrip... kaso badtrip, naiwan ko yung ipod ko, kinuha ko phone ko dun ko sinaksak yung earphones.. kaso shunga, nagloloko nga pala si magaling... ang ginawa ko? kinabit ko padin earphones sa tenga ko, at pumikit. Feeling may pinapakinggan.. kaso di naman ako magaling na artista, tinago ko din ang phone at earphones ko.

     Umandar na yung jeep. Umandar na rin yung antok ko. Lamig. Sarap siguro matulog. Naghikab yung nasa kabilang row. Gumaya ko. Gumaya ang nasa harapan ko. Ayos, di ako nagiisa!

     Ayun, gumagalaw na yung jeep, antok na talaga ko, malapit na sa may Linmers yung jeep, tulala ako, nang napatingin ako sa may likod, may lalaki sumigaw, "ITABI NYO YUNG JEEP, EMERGENCY." Nagulat ako, nung una akala ko, ambulansya na may wangwang ang makikita ko...mali, tricycle ang bumungad sakin, sa loob may isang babae, naka-orange, tas sa lap nya, may ulo ng bata... nakahiga siguro yung bata, sumigaw sya... "PAKITABI YUNG JEEP, EMERGENCY LANG".

     Binaling ko yung ulo ko, nagsalita ako... "Kuya, pakitabi daw po yung jeep, emergency daw po."

     Binalik ko agad yung tingin ko sa babae at sa bata sa tricycle. Gumilid yung jeep, nakadaan yung tricycle at humarurot. Nung wala na sila sa paningin ko, dun ko na lang napansin na tumutulo na pala yung luha ko, umiiyak na pala ko.

     Tfaffjfgagreaglr. (Sorry. expression ko yan pag di ko na alam dapat sabihin.)

     Bakit ako naiyak? Naalala ko yung kaibigan ko, inatake sya nang tulog sya.. sinakay sya sa tricycle papunta sa ospital...

Someone has to say it. Someone has to say it. Someone has to say it......

     If we can do something to spare someone's life, DO IT... someone's sadness, pain, ache, suffering and loneliness, DO IT.

     Siguro superficial to tignan para sa iba... minsan sasabihin naten, "Why should I do so?", "Why should I care?"

     I'm going to tell you one simple reason why we should offer a helping hand to others (even to strangers)... because who knows, someday, tayo naman yung mangailangan.

     Hindi kasi natin masasabi kung ano yung laman ng bukas para sa lahat. Wala tayo ideya. Wala tayong alam.

     For all I know, he was alive and kicking the night I was with him, I bid goodbye, expecting to see him the next day, nakalimutan ko nga mag "I love you", medyo pagod na kasi ako... and guess what? nung nakita ko sya the next day, nakapikit na sya, nakahiga... sa kabaong.

SOMEONE HAS TO SAY IT. SOMEONE HAS TO SAY IT. SOMEONE HAS TO SAY IT...

     Never reserve for tomorrow. If you have to do something, if you have to tell something to someone, DO IT... do it NOW.

P.S.
This one's for you Brother. Just so you know, I miss you so much and I love you. 'Till we meet again... 'till we meet again. I love you.

My Mother is on Facebook

                Facebook, sino pa nga ba ang hindi nakakaalam nito? Bata, matanda, lola at lola mayroon na nito. One of the million facebook users ay ang mama ko. Profile check, 52 years old, mother of 4, lola of 3 and a widow.

                The first time my mom saw facebook sabi nya, ano naman napapala diyan?, ayaw ko niyan mahirap pag aralan, aksaya lang yan sa oras. Pero masyado akong makulit ginawan ko siya ng facebook account then pina try ko sa kanya, nung una ayaw niya talaga pero sabi ko sakanya masaya yan madami games saka pwede niyo Makita yung mga old friends niyo. At iyon na nga nakumbinsi ko na siya yehey, tinuruan ko siya ng mga ilang araw pgkatapos ay natutunan din niya ito.

                One day pag uwi ko galing sa school ay hinahanap ko si mama dahil may tatanong ako , hindi ko siya makita kahit saang sulok ng bahay, sa kwarto, sa banyo, sa sala, sa kusina wala talaga. Nasaan na ang mama ko? Ayun nasa computer shop pala haha. Pag uwi niya ay tuwang tuwa at todo kwento, naka chat daw niya yung dati niyang kaklase saka yung dati niyang katrabaho at madami na din daw siyang friends. Simula nuon palagi na niyang pinapaloadan yung broadband namin, abay mas madalas pa ata siyang online kaysa sakin. Kung minsan ay magugulat nalang ako pag pasok ko sa school sasalubungin ako ng kaklase ko at sasabihin “ui uni nag comment sakin mama mo” “uni ka chat ko mama mo kagabi” ayun inaabot si mama ng madaling araw na online sa facebook.

                Dumating yung time na nagkaka head ache na siya, nahihi blood at nagkakasakit na dahil sa facebook. Simula nuon ay ay madalang na siya mag facebook, kapag importante nalang saka niya pinapaloadan yung broadband. Well, lahat naman ata talaga ng sobra ay nakakasama. Hindi ko din naman masisisi si mama sa pag ffacebook niya kasi buong buhay niya ay kami lang ang inaasikaso niya syempre kailangan din niyang mag libang kahit paminsan, explore ang life, at imeet yung old friends niya. Good thing I’m so proud about her ay yung kahit na addict siya nuon sa facebook ay hindi pa din niya kami napapabayaan. Isa iyon sa milyon milyong dahilan kung bakit mahal na mahal ko siya.

               

The Story of my LIFE :)

Ever since I was a child, self proclaimed TV addict ako. I can do multitasking as long as may TV sa harap ko. I eat in front of the television, I make assignments in front of the TV, I review in front of the TV, and practically whatever I do laging may TV. But never sumagi sa isip ko ang pagiging producer.

Siguro kung isa akong TV producer, I would produce a show entitled “the story of my life”. Makasarili ba? Haha. Oo, seryoso ipoproduce ko yung istorya ng buhay ko. Hindi para sumikat ako wah. Hindi ko rin naisip yan dahil masyadong madrama o maaksyon ang buhay ko. At lalong hindi ko naisip yan dahil tinanong ko si pau at si oneng, hindi! Wala kayong patunay haha.

I will produce the story of my life to show to the world how wonderful are the people that surrounds me. Kung gano katyaga, kapasyensyosa at kaingay ang nanay ko :). Kung gaano kasipag, maparaan at kadaldal ang tatay ko. Kung gaano kadaldal, kaingay at kamaalalahanin ang kapatid ko (chos) haha. Gusto ko din malaman ng maraming tao kung gaano ko kaswerte hindi lang sa pamilya kundi din sa mga friends ko. Si Ivory? Yan yung tao na sobrang daldal, parang laging may nakapasak na mega phone sa bunganga at sobrang iyakin. Si Pau na masipag mag-aral, yung tipo ng taong akala mo matino may kalokohan din naman sa katawan. Si Oneng? No comment haha. Joke lang, si Atty. Oneng? Matalino yan sa kalokohan lang ginagamit haha. Labyu bebst. Si Tsel? Isang babaeng marunong kumanta. Marunong ah, hindi magaling haha pero pag nagipit ka dyan mo maasahan. Si khing? Wala magaling yan, sobra. Si chi? Mabait yan tamad nga lang. Si Shan? Maganda yan, may sapak lang minsan haha. Si te Pie? Laging nawawala pero super maalalahanin. Si Wenvy? Super sa English, pero super independent din. Si Kuya Fat? Isa sa pinaka matalinong taong nakilala ko, di lang sa academics pati sa sales. Si Shaine? isa sa pinakamatapang na babaeng nakilala ko, pero isa din sa pinaka vulnerable. Si Gil, sinabi ko man na pinaka nakakairitang taong nakilala ko pero sya din yung isa sa mga taong di ko malilimutan.

Sila, sila yung reason kung bakit ako si april. They are the ones who made me who I am today. I will produce the story of my life not me as the main character. They are the main characters, supporting lang ako, parang ako lang yung insighting incident sa program na yun. Without them I have nothing to produce. They made my LIFE :)

"When is free better, when is not"

      The first time I heard this topic, I immediately ask our professor "ano po?" I admit at first hindi ko pa ito lubusang maunawaan that time but after a few seconds nakuha ko na naman ang ibig sabihin ng mga meaningful but deep phrases na ito.

       Dumating din po ako sa ganitong pagkakataon that I asked this particular question to myself, then I answered: "depende kung para saan ang kalayaan na gusto ko...depends upon the situation sagot ko sa aking sarili. 

         Yes po kinda weird to do it, but that's my unique way of realizing a topic just like this. May mga bagay po kasi na kailangan mo na natin maramdaman or maexperience para masabi po natin kung kailan pa ito maganda at kailan na ito di tama.

          I don't have a girlfriend ever since, but let's take for example LOVE, and ito po ay based lamang sa mga naoobserve ko, there's a boy or girl that you love, but you each other were not bagay eto sya eto ka lang.

          Yes po may kalayaan po tayong magmahal, pero po ask yourself first tama ba na mahalin ko siya, tama ba na sundin ko ang kagustuhang kalayaan ng puso ko. Dapat ko ba siyang mahalin or gustuhin pa?

           Sa pamilya, like for example again, you as a teenager doesn't give you freedom to just go out with your friends every weekends, because your parents ay nakapanood ng news na delikadong lumabas or nasa labas because of the strong typhoon na paparating, baka ma-istranded ka lang. Eh your friends nagpumilit pa rin, you were left behind. 

        Then after a few hours nag-txt sa iyo parent ng isa mong friend na sila ganun were stranded walang masakyan pauwi. See the freedom that you were fighting for to your parents a while ago was not worth it pala.

           Now if we make our mindsets much awake and our eyes more keen with the things that happened to the surroundings, we can now proudly tell to ourselves, that not all freedom were better, merong mga instances oo na maganda ang nagiging results, pero sabi nga ng aking mga kapamilya dito sa aming place; Ang sobrang malaya ay nauuwe sa pagiging pariwara, just because we tend to do things na akala natin is ok because nagawa natin ito ng malaya sa ating kalooban ng walang nangyaring masama sa atin noong una, iyon pala ay ikakapahamak mo pa ito for a long time just because walang guide and warnings coming from your love ones.

                  

 

 

I Like :)

When I first heard of the news about this new social networking site, it didn't give me the instinct that I should have my own account there, It wasn't really that impressing for me back then. I remembered someone told me, "Hey, do you already have an account there? It's really cool, you can post your pictures there and let everyone view it." I was like, oh yeah? I already have tons of photos posted on my %^& account, you can check it if you want to, and yeah it's a lot. It didn't make sense to me, a new site that will let you have lots of friends? friends that you don't even know, friends that you'll have but you can't really consider like one in real life; friends that you can only have for the sake of having him in your account and to brag that he's one of your "many" friends.
 Back then, I didn't waste my time creating an account on that new social networking site. Until one day, all of my friends, neighbors, family, people who I chat along the school corridor, shouts "Hey did you see my new PP (Profile Picture) on my Facebook account?"
Am I the only one here who hasn't created an account on Facebook? I thought. That was the time when I decided that It won't hurt making one. Lol.
It was fun, I didn't have a hard time adapting because it was kind of similar to what I had on my previous networking site, which I opt to leave because I find this new one much cooler, much easier to use, and because all of my friends are using it now instead of the old one (sad).
Adding friend is easy, you just "confirm" whoever invites you to be on his list of friends, and you can do vice versa. The limit is 5,000. Yes, I've reached it. I was careless of whom I add as my friend, I thought having lots of them and reaching the count limit will make other users go "Ohh she has lots of friends, maybe she's famous." It was fun yes, but not until I got my poser. I thought having a poser was cool, because famous people do get posers, and It symbolizes that you're way too attractive that other people wants your identity on them.
My poser wasn't really that nice, he?she? I don't know, whoever that was, I'm sure he/she really wants or should I say needs attention. I was calm during the whole thing, I just decided to deactivate my first account and make a new one, a more private one. I will not have lots of friends but at least I won't stress myself again for having a poser. As they say, "few but real ones"
As days pass by, using Facebook became a part of my routine whenever I use the internet. I will check if someone has invited me to be his friend, I would accept if I personally know him, and decline if I don't, not being rude though.

I also noticed that other people are too attached that they have to post all the things they do, almost every time they are online. I'm not against any of those, if that's how they express their selves to everyone, as long as they're not being too annoying to anyone. Just kidding. People do really have their own way of things, Facebook is for everyone, if you don't like what you see, then don't get involve in the first place. Stop looking, stop stalking.

For years, I was a typical Facebook user, I post what's on my mind. I share photos, my own and others - if I find it interesting. I repost things because I find it inspiring. I like/comment on what others post because that's how it goes on Facebook. You get likes if you deserve it, but most of the time, you get likes because you threaten other people of things you can do If they don't like what you just post on your wall. Lol kidding.

One day, while browsing through a page, I found this post and it struck me, It inspired me and I decided to repost it but through a video, It wasn't of a big deal for me, even If that was the first time I did a video of me reading a note. Who cares anyway? My friends will see it but will just make fun of me because of my very simple look there, I was wearing pambahay  with my hair brushed up. I logged out my account and went to bed. The next morning, ofcourse I went first to the computer to open my facebook account - daily routine. I was shocked to see the video on my wall. 8 hours ago, 8,956 likes, 7,098 shares and 1,582 comments. My eyes were dazed and confused at the same time by what I saw. I couldn't move my hands for a while, It was shaking I think. Then I thought, am I famous now? Everyone will talk about me? Everyone would want to know and meet me? Sounds fun, but what I really felt inside was fear. Being sikat is not as fun at it seems. I don't want to be famous really, if that's what will take away my peaceful and simple life, then I might as well choose to be anonymous for the rest of my entire life.  I'm afraid that people will not understand me, people will have lots of things to say about me, because they say, famous people do get haters not just posers, but haters who will really give time to you not because you're valuable, but because it's a pleasure to them to know that you're affected of what they say about you - negative stuffs.
The video I made wasn't really mine, I mean that was me on the video and I had it taken myself, but I was just reading the content. It was obvious If you have watched it, because I intentionally made it that way, and made it guilt-free because I didn't have intentions of offending anyone. I even mentioned on my comment that I just read the post and recorded it for my guy friends because the video was about "Ang mga Lalake".  It's just that I wasn't able to give credits to the one who made the content I read. My mistake. Big mistake, because after a month, the writer came out and made public posts that I had stolen what was hers. I talked to her and explained everything, I even made public apology to let everyone know that It wasn't really my intention to "steal" her work or make myself famous for that matter. We patched things up and made everything clear, but still, other people would not understand. They had all the things to say about me, things they thought would hurt me. They don't know me, and what really happened, that made me calm a little.

And so, I had lots of followers, I'm sure you know what it means. I also made few videos as my way of showing gratitude to those who give their messages to me, saying they really like me and how I inspire them.
It stayed that way for few months, and yes, things changed a little. Whenever I'm in a public place and people would recognize me, they will ask me to have pictures with them. I would feel overwhelmed and shy at the same time because I'm just a simple person, If I can just sit with all of them for a little time and have short conversations, I would do, just to make them feel that I'm just an ordinary person they can laugh with.

Days, Months had passed, I appreciate my life even more. And I realized that staying humble and contented is really the key to happiness. I'm not saying that I regret the opportunity that was given to me, but I must say that having a simple life is more fulfilling than being known by everyone.
People may praise or curse you, that's how it is here on earth, you cannot run from it. Whatever you do, people would have something to say about you. You just have to ACCEPT it and LEARN from it. At the end of the day, what matters is not the things that you went through, but how you manage to survive from it. With all of these, I became even more thankful to God. He made me realize that the things that would really make me happy are already within me. I just need to SHARE it, regardless of who will LIKE it, and what other people will COMMENT about it.

Just When I Though I'm Done

Just When I Thought I’m Done (Part 1)

Sa totoo lang hindi ko alam kung paano ko to sisimulan. Medyo mahirap na naman yata tong natapat sakin. Haay bahala na nga…

Paano mo nga ba masasabing, “Tama na. Tigil na. Hanggang diyan ka na lang”? Paano mo nga ba masasabing nareach mo na ang limitasyon ng makakaya mo – ang hangganan mo? Kailan ka ba dapat sumuko? Kailan ba ang tamang panahon para itigil na ang lahat?

Heto na naman ako. Paulit-ulit sinesermunan yong sarili ko sa utak ko. Paulit-ulit kong sinasabi sa sarili kong, “TAMA NA! WALA NA. HINDI NA MAIBABALIK PA.” Paulit-ulit ko ring sinasabi na nakamove-on na ko. But at the end of the day, paulit-ulit ko ring nare-realize na meron pa.. may kurot pa. After almost 8 months, MAY TAMA PA.

A few months ago bago pa man ako tumakbong SSC President, nasabi ko na sasarili kong NAKAMOVE-ON NA KO. Ilang beses ko na ng aba yong nasabi? Countless times na yata – OO, DI KO NA MABILANG. Halos lahat na rin yata ng tao sa paligid ko napaniwala kong hindi na ko nasasaktan; na hindi na ko apektado sa kung ano man ang meron sa kanya ngayon. Just when I thought I’m done loving him, saka naman nag-message sakin yong kapatid niya through facebook.

“Ate, hindi na niya katabi yong bolang bigay mo. Inalis na niya sa kama niya. Pero don’t worry kami na ang magtatago.”

-Patrick

Hindi ko alam pero bigla na lang unti-unting tumulo yong luha ko. Lahat ng mga sinabi ko tungkol sa pagmo-move-on nakalimutan ko bigla. Parang gumuho yong mundo ko. Gumuho na naman ng dahil sa kanya… Palagi na lang dahil sa kanya… Ang sakit… Tae ang sakit talaga… Yong bolang lagi niyang yakap at tabi sa higaan inalis na niya. Yong bolang bigay ko sa kanya nong hindi pa siya pwedeng magbasketball tinalikuran na niya. Yong bolang may nakasulat na, “I LOVE YOU HON. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE THE ONE I WILL LOVE FOREVER” ayaw na niya. Kahit alam kong tama lang yong naging desisyon kong makipagbreak sa kanya dati, bakit ba ang pakiramdam ko mali yon? Bakit ba sobrang sakit pa rin? Bakit ba apektado pa rin ako sa kanya? Kainis.

May girlfriend na siya ngayon. Sabi ko dati, “Oh ano naman?” Pero I just realized, ilang buwan din pala kong nag-stalk sa facebook ni girl dahil binlock ako ni ex. Nakakatawa. I became a stalker because of him. The things I learned from being a stalker?

Una, naging varsity player na siya ng basketball sa school nila.

Pangalawa, nagkatrabaho na siya. Working student.

Pangatlo, gumraduate na siya.

Pati mga outings at bakasyon nila with her new GF alam na alam ko. Lahat halos alam ko. Galing nu?

Haay. TANGA KO TALAGA! SINASAKTAN KO LANG SARILI KO.

Haay… Gustong gusto kong malaman ang kundisyon niya. Gustong gusto ko siyang alagaan. Gusto ko pa ring iparamdam sa kanya na mahalaga pa rin siya sakin. BUT IT WILL NEVER EVER HAPPEN AGAIN. WALA E. WALA NA.

Opo. I admit. I’m not yet over him. Hindi pa rin pala. Kumbaga sa kanin sa plato may masisimot ka pang mumo.

MY BEST FRIEND. . .

Is the one I'm always talking to-
When I wake up in the morning
He is the first person who's already on my mind
Every time I'm eating, I did not forget to say thanks to Him
And before I go to sleep, He is still the last person I'm talking to


We're always together. I always bring Him anywhere
I want to be with Him forever, because He's my stress reliever
He always listens to my story, even though sometimes it's corny
He always understands me. And when I did bad things, He easily forgives me.


I love my Best friend so  much because He never fail to surprise me
He knows everything about me
And always doing things that makes me happy
Whenever I'm down he always uplift me


Helping me on school things
Projects, reports, exams and everything.
Even though at the simplest things
He always find time to understand my mood swings


How lucky I am to be His best buddy
Want to know Him already?
His name starts with the letter G followed by letter O and then D

What I spend money on?

I'm so happy that I had the chance to write about this. I want to share with you guys what i spend money on. Maybe some of you already knew my addiction. But for all those who were thinking on what it is, here it goes.

Since I was a kid, I was kinda kikay girl. I remember that I always wear my mom's highest heels. I don't know why but since I was a kid I always get attracted by the shoes. I always left my neck and eyes every time I saw a beautiful pair of shoes.

Every time I go to mall and have my money, I'm really not thinking twice of buying a new pair. It gives me a different kind of happiness every time I got a new one. Not just an addiction, I consider it as an investment. Because I can see where my money goes. When I'm looking at the stack of my boxes of shoes, it takes my stress away and sometimes I want to wear it all at the same time. If only I can. I will never get tired of buying a new one. As long as I have money and can afford it, I will not stop on buying and will always spoil myself. I'm very thankful that sometimes, I did not have to buy for myself because my aunt is happy supporting me on my hobby. :D

And there's a secret I want to reveal. A long time ago when I had my first break up, all I have to do is to buy a new pair of shoes. My mom did not say anything about me because I know that she understands me. Sometimes she's the one who offers me to buy a new one because she also wants to help me to move on. Haha! But let's forget about that

Now I'm dreaming of having a designer's name shoes. I really want! Maybe I have to save money for that shoes. Maybe If I add together the prices of my shoes, that's the equivalent of that pair.

I'm not thinking about spending my money on other things, even though I wasn't able to eat. The important thing is I will buy my pair of shoes. I don't care about anything but them. They're all my babies. And I want to have more babies.

When I feel frustrated…

When I feel frustrated…

FRUSTRATED — defeated, disappointed

FRUSTRATION — defeat or disappointment…

FRUSTRATED ka dahil hindi mo nakuha ‘yong gusto mo. FRUSTRATED ka dahil hindi napunta sa’yo ‘yong pinaghirapan mo. FRUSTRATED ka dahil hindi mo nailabas ang nararamdaman mo. FRUSTRATED ka dahil hindi mo mailabas ang galit mo sa isang tao. FRUSTRATED ka dahil sinarili mo lang! At dahil FRUSTRATED ka, nagagalit ka. At dahil FRUSTRATED ka, dinaig pa ng bibig mo ang armalite sa pagratsada. Na minsan kahit ang bagay o tao na walang kinalaman sa’yo, nadadamay. At ang pinakamalala, minsan sa sobrang FRUSTRATION na nararamdaman mo, nagaGALIT ka na nga, para ka pang BALIW dahil kung anu-ano ang ginagawa mo.

AT DAHIL SA SALITANG ‘YAN, NAGDADALAWANG-ISIP NA AKO KUNG ITUTULOY KO PA BA ANG BLOG NA’TO O MANANAHIMIK NA LANG AKO!!! Kasi naman bakit hindi agad pumasok sa isip ko noong kinuha ko ang topic na ito na ang dami ko palang maipapaalam na mga bagay na never ko ring sinabi kahit kanino? Pero dahil narito na ‘to, fine, magsasalita na ako kaysa dumagdag pa ito sa napakarami kong FRUSTRATION sa buhay. Iyong unang paragraph, ‘wag ka ng magtaka na naisulat ko iyan dahil unang-una ako ang gumawa nito at pangalawa, SARILI KO ang tinutukoy ko d’yan.

Paano ko ba ‘to sisimulan nang hindi naman n’yo agad masabing baliw nga ang nagsulat nito?

I hate the feeling of being frustrated dahil nag-iiba ako. Pero anong magagawa ko kung may mga bagay na wala akong control na siyang nagiging reason para ma-frustrate ako. I hate the feeling of being frustrated because I became weak. Weak because I cried… and that’s my initial reaction when I feel frustrated. Iyon naman talaga ang unang reaksyon, di ba? Nakaka-frustrate kapag hindi ko nakuha iyong bagay na gustung-gusto ko at iyong bagay na alam kong pinaghirapan ko pero napunta sa iba (hindi ko na masyadong ie-elaborate kasi hahaba ‘to masyado…) at umiiyak na lang ako para ilabas lahat ng sama ng loob dahil sa bagay na iyon. Natural lang na umiyak ang isang tao pero minsan talaga iniisip ko rin na ang hina ko namang tao kung sa isang bagay tutulo na lang luha ko. Pero ano rin naman ang magagawa kung wala naman akong control sa pagluha ng mata ko? Napu-frustrate naman talaga ang isang tao sa mga bagay na walang kontrol.

Ang isa pa, ‘pag napu-frustrate ako, nagdadabog ako TO THE MAX. Sa pagdadabog ko ibinubuhos ang frustration ko. For sure talaga, kung sinuman ang makakakita sa’kin sa gano’ng pagkakataon, sasabihin nila parang hindi si Pauline ‘yon. Nagdadabog at minsan pa, nagsisira ako ng gamit. Hahaha! Promise! Ang dami ko ng nasira na gamit ko at gamit ng Ate ko. Nag-aaway na nga kami dahil do’n minsan. At siguro hindi ka maniniwala na sa away na ‘yon naitulak ko ang Ate ko at na-shoot siya sa kanal. Kahit itanong n’yo pa sa kanya. At dahil lang ‘yan sa frustration dahil may hindi ako nagawa at nakuha that time.

At minsan, idinadaan ko talaga sa galit ang lahat ng frustration ko. Feeling ko kasi, ‘pag galit lang ako, do’n ko nailalabas lahat ng gusto kong ilabas at lahat ng gusto kong sabihin. Pero never akong nagalit sa isang tao dahil lang sa frustration ko sa sarili ko. Kaya lang nangyayari na nagkakagalit kami ni Ate ay dahil sinabayan n’ya ako. Iyong tipong alam niyang galit ako, sasabayan pa niya ng pangungulit at pang-aasar. (kapag tahimik na ako at nakakunot ang noo, ‘wag mo muna akong kausapin dahil sign ‘yon na malapit na akong magalit) Ibang tao na po ako ‘pag sobra na ang galit ako. Buti na lang, hindi n’yo pa ako nakikitang magalit ng sobra. At iyon din ang pinakaiiwasan ko. Kaya kong sabihin ang hindi dapat sabihin na nasasabi ng isang tao ‘pag galit sila. Aside from that, hindi po ako madaling makalimot. Masasabi kong napatawad ko na ang isang tao pero iyong ginawa niya, HINDI KO NAKAKALIMUTAN. Meron pa pong isang tao na hanggang ngayon hindi ko kinakausap dahil nagalit ako sa kanya 2 years ago. Yes, ganyan po ako katindi. J J J

Sobrang daldal ko rin kapag frustrated ako. Salita ako ng salita. Lahat ng gusto kong sabihin, sinasabi ko. BUT, hindi ko pa nagagawa sa school iyong gano’n. Kailangan kasing magpigil dahil alam kong makakasakit ako. BUT, kung nasa bahay ako. Ay naku! Ihanda mo ang tenga mo dahil hindi ako tumitigil at hindi ako titigil hangga’t hindi pa ako tapos. At least sa bahay namin, kaya akong i-pacify ni Mama. Hehehe!!!

At hindi ka rin siguro maniniwala na sometimes I hurt myself when I feeling so down… when I feel frustrated… Yes, nagagawa ko ‘yon (sabi ko sa inyo, nababaliw ako ‘pag frustrated ako, eh, J J J). Nagkapasa ako dahil nasuntok ko ang pader, nasasabunutan ko ang sarili ko... Minsan talaga magagawa mo ang bagay na akala mo hindi mo magagawa dahil nga may nararamdaman ka deep inside. Minsan nasasabi ko pa sa sarili ko na “Ang tanga mo, Pau, simpleng bagay lang hindi mo magawa… hindi mo makuha.” I’m sure, nasasabi mo rin iyan sa sarili mo.

‘Pag nabasa mo ito, at least, alam mo na ang Pau na kilala mo ay hindi pa pala ang totoong Pau pagtalikod mo. Dahil ang totoong PAU ay may ABNORMAL side din pala! (Hey! ‘Wag kang tumawa dahil ikaw din sa sarili mo may ka-ABNORMALan din J). Hindi po ako “plastic” na tao, totoo po ako, NAGKOKONTROL lang. Nagkokontrol dahil marami po akong nagagawa ‘pag frustrated ako. Yes, I am a different person when I feel frustrated. Definitely, the way you see me right now is different when you see me down… when you see me frustrated.

"Letting Go"

     This is one of several phrases na masasabi ko na kayang tumagos sa puso ko hanggang sa kaluluwa, in the sense that this is the thing that I really want to learn and to be done before my last hour, minute, or second comes.

    Napuno kase ang aking kalooban at buong pagkatao for the past years ng maraming element ng paghihiganti which I realized this coming school year lang na mali pala at walang idudulot sa akin na mabuti kung patuloy ko pa rin ito panghahawakan at dito na nga pumapasok ang mga salitang Letting Go.

     Hindi pala maganda na nagtatanim ng sama ng loob sa isang tao, isang malaking "NO" pala iyon. They were things pala na kahit masakit at mahirap tanggapin na nagawa iyon sa iyo, ay kusa palang maghihilom at gagaling, kelangan mo lang pala maging mag-isip ng masasayang bagay, at maging kontento sa buhay mo upang matutunan mong limutin ang mga bagay at pangyayaring iyon.

        Alam ko sa aking sarili na hindi pa ako umaabot sa 100% na completion ng paglet-go sa mga iyon, kaya nga madalas pakiramdam ng iba kong mga kaklase ay bad mood ako lagi which is true for many days, ako din di ko maintindihan kung bakit madalas mangyare iyon, and naisep ko papaano ako makakapag-let go ng talgang buo kung meron mga pangyayare katulad na lang ng pagiging Commissioner ko sa BUSSC COMELEC 2013 ay binabatikos at pinapalala ang mga sitwsyong di ko naman ginawa ng mga taong hindi ko maiintindihan kung inggit ba sila gayung may mga kanya kanya naman silang organization and hindi na nga ako nagpakita ng motibo na gusto kong maging officer sa mga orgs na kinabibilangan nila ngayon, bakit kelangan ipamukha sa akin na "ano position mo ngayon", sabi ba naman. Eh ako naman ang bilis kong magalet alam naman nila iyon for 3 years going 4 na pagsasama namen.

     Actually natutuwa nga ako sa pagkakapanalo ng karamihan sa partidong aking pinangalingan, pero hindi ko na kelangan tumalon at magsisigaw sa harap pa nila para lang masabe kong masaya ako sa kanila. Sapat na nandoon ako sa oras ng bilangan sinisigurado na walang dayaang mangyayare, Oo naging mahigpit ako during that past days but iyon ang kelangan para mas lalo pang madagdagan ang sense of discipline ng mga future student council officers that time.

     Hindi ba nila makita na hinihiwalay ko noong mga araw na iyon ang pagiging mga magkakaklase namen upang magawa ko ng maayos ang aking tungkulin noon, mahirap kase para sa part ko ang maakusahan na yang Commissioner na yan panig sa kabila, iyon lang naman ang bagay na aking iniiwasang mangyare. Kung sila man siguro ang nasa lugar ko noon, ano kaya ang gagawin nila kasi sa akin lang naman I don't want na lumala pa ito.

     Sige nga ngayon nyo sabihen sa harapan ko if paano ko magagawang mag-let go, sunugen ang mga nakaraan at ibaon sa limot ang katulad ng ninanais ninyong lahat sa akin noon kung ganyan ang pakikitungo nyo na  naman sa akin, alam ko hindi aq magandang tumingen pero it does'nt mean na masama na agad ang ugali ko.

     Sorry para sa mga di naman dapat maapektuhan, but I have to write it down all that thoughts in this blog, or else sasakit at kikirot lang ang puso ko kapag ka kinimkim ko ang lahat ng ito.

      I'm not looking and collecting enemies. I am searching for those people who can help me sa paglet-go ng mga masasamang pangyari na naganap sa aking buhay, iyon ang bagay na hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit hindi nila maisip, so now alam nyo na. 

   But on the other side, this is also another way of letting go, ang pagpapakawala sa mga masasamang bagay na hindi mo naman kelangan sa pagtulog mo, and with that this is the end of this blog.